My problems are many,
my problems are few.
They may look simple,
but only to you.
I know the extent,
and soon you will, too.
I just whipped that little ‘poem’ up. I think, if I continue (or ever publish this post), I’d like to put that little snippet at the start of all my posts that are about my so called ‘problems’. I have a lot of emotional issues and I’m working to try and sort them out and learn and grow up. Join me if you’d like. =)
And read on for my first of these posts. We’ll see how involved they get, how much I talk about.
I’ve never wanted to be link anyone else. I’ve always been different. I’ve always wanted to be different (despite having problems with the version of “different” I was dealt for a while).
One of my problems lies with the fact that I want to graduate in Spring, I want to get a good paying job, I want to get a nice place to live to save money to buy a house, I want to live on the West Coast in the sunshine, I want to get married and have two girls.
But that might not happen, and it’s okay. That’s what nearly everyone wants. I don’t have to be like everyone, I’ve never wanted to be like everyone, so why and I trying all of a sudden?
It’s okay if I graduate a quarter later than I want, it’ll still be technically two quarters before the normal anyway (I’ll be graduating in 3 years- 3 years and a third). My boyfriend wants to live in New York for a while after he graduates and sticks around for a year. Why not follow him? Why not try to get a job in NY and try it out for a while? I can always come home, I can always move to California like I’ve always kind of wanted to do. My boyfriend has NO desire to have children. That’s okay. Maybe he’ll age and decide he does after all, maybe not. Eventually I’ll likely have to choose children or him, and it will be the hardest choice of my life, but it is years away and nothing to concern myself with at this point in time. I will find a job (I’ll have a B.A. in Sociology, which comes with a pretty wide range of career options). I’ll find a place to live. It might not be perfect, but it’ll be a start. You have to start somewhere. Hell, maybe we’ll move to some European country. I’ve never been, but I like the idea, my boyfriend enjoyed Europe. We’ve been together almost a year (on the 30th of April) and I’m still madly in love with him, we haven’t gotten in any fights (which seems rare, though sure we’ve gotten in brief “tiffs” with each other).
I really do just need to breathe, realize I’m young, realize I’ve made mistakes and I will likely make others, but it’s all okay. It is all part of life. As my amazing boyfriend likes to tells me, and as the picture (that he sent me) on my desktop states, “Everything is going to be alright”.
I’m thinking with these more “personal” style posts I’ll sign with “Sarah”, my real first name, and for the other posts (reviews, giveaways, etc.), I’ll continue to sign with “Mae”, my real middle name and online pseudonym.